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DMnomad
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Name: Jim
State: Ohio
Birthday: 4/24/1984
Gender: Male
Interests: Living for the one who is called the son of God Jesus Christ the one true savior of the trinity (Father, Son and Holy Spirit). DVDs,Computers,Reading,SWCCG, listening to music on my Green Ipod mini and the Sims have returned
Expertise: Found out i'm not really good in anything.. Yeah I'm just a dime a dozen kind of guy
Occupation: Operations
Industry: Nonprofit
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  StitchMaul
Member Since:
3/15/2003
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| Lately I have been feeling that I have put too much burden on others
I have been afraid that I shared too much of my life with others
I feel that I am looked upon with pity
Is it possible to care too much for someone?
Am I causing others to do so?
I wish I didn;t do this.
I wish I could undo this
but I can not
I'm sorry
but I want to be cared for
I want to be loved
don't we all
but I guess it was wrong for me to ask for love..
isn't it the individuals choice to choose the way they love others
I never want to demand your love from you.
I am always reminded of the verse
Love your God with all your heart, mind, and soul.
and love your neighbor as yourself.
so are we called to worry about each other
or to love each other
I have a problem that I think about others too much
do I love them too much or worry about them too much
many times I think that people worry about so much that I want to run away
it is too much
I'm sorry
today I feel like disappearing
I'm sorry
Why?
Why can't I?
I would if I could
please believe me...
I'm sorry
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| So, after having a lot of profound thoughts today which I can't and will not express all of them right now, I have decided attempt to video blog instead of typing. I think I might like that better. For the video log this is more for therapy and for practice. To practice talking. Expression. When all my life I was told not to express. To be more orderly to be more normal.
I need to be express yet normal and though training I believe I can do this.
Thank you for encountering me. I have enjoyed it. | | |
| It is in my nature to be hidden. To be in the background. To have people not pay attention to what I do.
But now I have to remember that I have a public life as well. I am on the spotlight as a future pastor and as a future leader.
I hated how I had to represent so much more than I am but this time it is a choice I made myself. I have choosen to step onto the spotlight. To have my mistakes exposed to others and to try to hide what could be used against me.
This is the life I have choosen, the life that could easily be taken away if I am not careful. There are many things I want to change, many things I want to learn, many things I must do from now on.
I need to stop wasting time and get on with what I have to do..
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| Seriously.. I have so much hw but I study less this semester.
Semester, I'm in semesters funny.
Today was a good day, it was nice hanging out with Lydia and Jin and a sad day and beat myself up day for making stupid mistakes day (which consist of many days) and a met with God day ( happens less often but I should try to make it happen more often)
I got new clothes! I think I have enough to make sure I wear Small and medium shirts instead of wearing my X-large and large ones all the time. Now I need to make sure I don't gain weight otherwise my new clothes won't fit me.
It's so hard, my relationships with people here are slipping and I worry about that more than I worry about my grades. Sad.. I am pathetic. I wish it could be fixed. I wish. I pray | | |
| Saturday for me is depressing if I do not have it planned out. I was going to go to the coffee shop to study but that did not turn out so well. I hate staying at home and sleeping and goofing off when I should be studying. Hopefully tomorrow is better. Yesterday was amazing, I got to hang out with some people from Seminary. We had dinner and went to a club where they had funk jazz. I got to dance a lot. It was fun. I'm not a good blog guy. back to studying I guess. | | |
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